


Top or Bottom

by Amuly



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-06
Updated: 2010-02-06
Packaged: 2017-11-03 23:07:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/386994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amuly/pseuds/Amuly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gwen, Tosh, and Owen discuss the mechanics of Jack and Ianto's sex life. Set pre-Reset, Series II</p>
            </blockquote>





	Top or Bottom

  


 

           Gwen leaned back and rubbed her neck. It had been a positively _boring_ day, Rift activity-wise. Not even a Weevil sighting to break up the monotony. She turned and scanned the Hub. Tosh was nodding off in front of her display, a program apparently running on its own in front of her. Owen seemed to be reading a book on alien anatomy except…yup. Gwen could see a shiny magazine cover peeking out from the bottom of the heavy textbook. Either a porno mag or a comic book, then. Ianto was…well, Gwen wasn’t sure where Ianto was. She leaned and looked over at the coffee machine: not there. She turned the other way and looked in Jack’s office. Not there either. Then again, neither was Jack. Well, that solved a bit of the mystery to where Ianto was: wherever it was, Jack was probably with him.

Gwen sighed loudly. “Well this day has been an absolute waste, hasn’t it?”

Tosh started fully awake at her workstation and looked over at Gwen, adjusting her reading glasses. “Hm? A waste? No, I got some…” Tosh poked at her display for a moment, until an error message flashed across the screen. Tosh deflated and yanked off her glasses. “Alright, yes. Total waste.”

Owen bounded up from the autopsy bay, book forgotten. “I don’t know why Jack keeps us around on days like this. We should be allowed a day off once a century. Hey, where is he, anyway? Tosh, pull up the internal CCTV.”

Gwen blushed. “Well, Ianto’s not around, so…”

“Oh, fantastic. Cancel that, Tosh. Don’t need to learn about my employer’s sex habits, thanks very much.” Owen flopped down on the couch behind the two girls. “I mean, what, he’s off shagging Ianto right now, while I sit here, bored out of my mind. I could be shagging someone right now, too.”

Gwen shot Tosh a sympathetic look, but she seemed to be successfully ignoring Owen’s complaining. “How about I grab some drinks? We can get the evening started while we wait around for Jack to come back and let us leave.”

Owen and Gwen perked up. “Brilliant idea, Tosh.” Owen winked at her. Tosh blushed and ducked her head, before scurrying off to grab the drinks. 

While she waited, Gwen turned back to her computer. “You know, it might be interesting to see what Jack and Ianto are doing…” 

Owen waved his arms behind her frantically. “No, no thanks, Ms. Cooper. That’s a terrible idea. Ugk.” Owen shuddered. “I would die happy if I never had to see the mating habits of ones Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones.”

Tosh came back with the beers, picking up on the conversation. “Well, the way I figure it, it might be _gorgeous_ to watch once, but then it would get repetitive.”

Gwen’s eyebrows shot up. “Repetitive? With Jack?”

Tosh nodded as she took a swig from her drink. “Well, not so much because of Jack, but Ianto. I mean, he doesn’t seem like he’d be adventurous.”

Gwen shook her head firmly. “My mam always told me to look out for the quiet ones. I’d bet he’s wild in the sack.”

Waving his beer around, Owen interjected. “Right, are we _really_ having a conversation about their sex life? Really?” Gwen and Tosh shared a guilty smile. “Right, we are. Well, I figure Jack tricks tea boy into lots of crazy stuff, you know, being Jack,” Owen took a drink as he contemplated the matter seriously, “But of course, Jack’s always…well…you know…”

Tosh shook her head, but Gwen giggled. “You mean on top?”

“Oh.” Tosh blushed and quickly took a long drink from her beer. “Yes, I suppose so.”

Gwen shook her head. “What? No way. I’d bet anything that Ianto tops at least _some_ of the time.”

“With the way Ianto follows Jack around like a puppy?” Owen gestured emphatically with his beer. “No way. Jack’s got Ianto under his thumb, and, therefore, under him.”

Tosh nodded, smiling apologetically at Gwen. “I agree with Owen. I mean, Ianto’s a bit of a…a sweetheart, you know?”

Gwen was shocked. “No way!” She and Ianto had spent a lot of time together during Jack’s disappearance, more than Tosh or Owen, and she had gotten to know the man beneath the carefully constructed outer persona. “You guys are talking like Ianto is some poor innocent soul that Jack is just taking advantage of. Trust me, Ianto has a lot more say in their sex life than you’d think.” Gwen took a sip from her beer and frowned thoughtfully. “Plus Jack’s a right lazy bastard.”

Owen laughed, almost spitting out his drink. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he shook his head ruefully at Gwen. “Right, well, point. Still, Jack’s got age and experience on Ianto, and a _lot_ of both. He probably shows Ianto some new space-sex-trick every time, which means _he’s_ on top.”

Tosh tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Well, I suppose Jack could just order Ianto around, but make Ianto do all the work, like Gwen said. I believe they call that ‘topping from the bottom’?”

Owen shot Tosh a how-do-you-know-about-gay-sex-terms look, but Gwen was insistent. “No, no. You guys are missing my point. Think about how controlling Ianto is, how he kind of orders Jack around a bit. I’d say it carries over to the bedroom, and Jack does _exactly_ what Ianto says.”

Taking a drink from her beer, Tosh set it down on her workstation definitively. “Well, there’s one way to find out.” 

Before Owen could jump forward and stop her, Jack’s voice floated up at them. “Getting an early start on the weekend?”

Tosh, Owen, and Gwen all started guiltily, not looking at Jack or each other. He was standing in his office doorway, shirt unbuttoned but vest - thankfully for Owen, not so much so for Gwen and Tosh - on. Jack strolled over nonchalantly. “What were you guys talking about?”

Gwen turned to look at both Owen and Tosh, who were opening and closing their mouths ineffectually. “Oh, uh, nothing. Just this and that. Plans for the evening, you know.”

Jack nodded, almost looking like he believed it. “Ianto!”

Ianto suddenly appeared behind Jack, stepping smartly out of his office. Gwen glanced past them. They must have snuck quietly in there from the back entrance, coming up from the lower levels. How long had they been in there? How much had they heard?

“Jack?”

Jack raised an eyebrow at the team. “Does the rest of the team look…guilty, to you?”

Ianto crossed his arms over his chest and put a hand on his chin, mock-considering. “They do seem to have that look, yes sir.”

Gwen glanced back at Tosh and Owen. Tosh was blushing furiously and staring at the ground; Owen looked more pissed off. She was pretty sure her face was turning red, too. Still trying to think of a response, Owen beat her to it. “Just talking about our favorite sex positions. I personally like the upside-down sex swing fajita. Invigorating.”

Tosh giggled and blushed more, if possible. She was probably trying to picture the made-up position, Gwen figured. “How ‘bout yours, Harkness?”

Jack grinned widely and Gwen shot Owen a disapproving look. He just looked back at her, shrugging. His look said “What? I’m getting you your answer.” When Gwen turned back to look at Jack, she saw him leering at Ianto. “Well Ianto? What’s our favorite position?”

Ianto blushed and rubbed the back of his head, embarrassed. “Like you could limit yourself to one,” he grumbled.

Jack laughed loudly at that. Owen set down his empty beer bottle and stood. “Come on, Harkness. We need to settle a bet. Who’s on top, spill the beans so I can leave and drink until I wipe this conversation from my memory.”

Jack rolled his eyes, still smiling broadly. “I keep saying, 21st century boxes and labels. Why does just one of us have to be on top?”

“So you two are both switches?” Tosh piped up. Owen shot her another look, shocked at innocent Tosh's knowledge of sexual terminology. “What? I spend a lot of time online!” Tosh sipped at her beer again. 

Jack turned back and grabbed Ianto’s arm, dragging him in front of him and then shoving him toward the cog door. He shrugged as they walked past the other team members. “Well, I wouldn’t say _that_ …” as Ianto hurried down the stairs Jack hung back, leaning toward Owen conspiratorially, “after all, Ianto _loves_ to top.”

Jack hopped away, rushing after Ianto. Gwen watched as Ianto angrily interrogated Jack, who just shrugged and appeared to be trying to look innocent. With an exasperated sigh Ianto stormed out, Jack trailing happily after him.

The three of them just exchanged glances for a moment in silence. Owen finally broke it. “Well, I guess that means we’re done for the night. Tosh, Gwen, see you all tomorrow. Please never bring up this conversation again, I don’t need to picture Ianto shagging Jack senseless. Cheers.”

Owen bolted for the cog door, reconsidered, and left via the underground car park. Gwen turned to Tosh. “Told you.”

Tosh shook her head. “Oh no, I agreed that Ianto would be on top. But I still think Jack orders Ianto around from the bottom.”

Gwen’s eyes flickered to Tosh’s display. “Well, how about we settle the bet?”

Tosh’s fingers were flying over her keyboard. “Already pulling it up.”

  


 


End file.
